Teacher's Column
Hello! This is Mark.
Making Friends when you travel
The question that many people ask, especially students traveling to a foreign country is how to make friends with foreigners. Well to answer that question, one must first ask themself, “How can I make myself friendlier so that people will want to become my friend or will want me in their friendship group”.
There is a famous quotation that says “a man who has many friends must first show himself to be friendly”.
What does that mean? Well here are a few pointers for both your reading pleasure and hopefully will help you make friends with foreigners both here in Japan and when you travel. So sit back, get a nice cool drink or hot if you please and enjoy.
1. Smile
Smile.....smile and continue to smile. It costs nothing, enriches those who receive it, it happens in a flash but the memory lasts forever, it creates happiness in the home and classroom. A smile can not be bought, begged or borrowed, it comes from the heart. If you want other people to like you, make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely! How great is a smile! Try remembering if you have met anyone with a great smile that you were not drawn to. If you cannot find anyone, then remember always smile at the world and the world will smile back at you.
2. Become interested in People
Believe it or not, you can make more friends in a shorter time by becoming interested in other people rather than trying to get other people interested in you. Sit back and think about it! Why should people be interested in you, unless you are first interested in them? If you want to develop a more pleasing personality and make friends become genuinely interested in other people. Show kindness, real people don’t care about whether or not you are wearing the latest designer label clothes, the hottest brand shoes, the coolest jewelry, and are driving the latest sports car. All that may be great, but for true friendship what matters is how you treat others and how much interest you show in other people. No one wants to be friends with Mr. And Mrs. Selfish.
3. Be Strong!
Being mentally strong is not always easy but let me assure you the more you practice it the easier it becomes. Soon those who thought they were trendy will want to dress like you, talk like you and be with you because you have a personality which is different. People like being different! Think about it, if you dressed and acted like 10 million other people are you different? NO！So be yourself and don't let anyone turn you into their mirror image or their puppet.
Before I finish let me just add a word of caution as you go out to make friends, this you must always remember. You don’t have to do anything wrong or illegal to make friends. Good people will never force you do anything dangerous or anything that will get you in trouble, in the name of friendship.
Choose your friends carefully. If others try to persuade you to smoke, take illicit drugs, steal credit cards, gamble, fight or anything like that, they are not someone that you should befriend. Doing the wrong thing is the quickest way to lose friends, honest, good and upright friends. Stay on the right track and be a respected citizen with a sincere reputation. You will know in your heart what is right and good. You will know when to say 'no' and you will know when its time to walk away.
“Good luck, walk good and remember a sweet smile is better than a frown every time”.
Mark Broomfield